Bad first impressions
I kind of hated San Cristóbal at first.
This was, in part, due to the fact that I’d caught the night bus over from Oaxaca. I’d spent over 12 hours on the bus, deliriously nauseous and sadly unable to sleep, so that when I arrived in San Cristóbal, I was exhausted, ill, and very grumpy.
But I think it was also that I missed Oaxaca. I’d just made friends there, and had a routine, and had begun putting together a life. And now here I was in this new town where everything felt foreign once more.
To make it worse, San Cristóbal was full of tourists, which I didn’t love. Sometimes in places where the main industry is tourism, a lot of the locals feel like they have to please foreigners, and you end up having a really shallow relationship with them, rather than getting to connect on equal footing and in a meaningful way. I worried that San Cristóbal would be one of those places.
Learning to love San Cris
I changed my mind pretty quickly.
My first night of sleep made a big difference. I think, in general, not being sleep deprived and grumpy really changes the way you view things.
But I’d also just had a phenomenally good night of sleep. And I could blame it on being sleep deprived when I’d gone to bed, but I slept so well every night in San Cris. My AirBnB was so pretty, it was lovely and cold when I went to bed, and I’d cocoon up nicely in my warm blankets. It reminded me of being in an alpine village. And every morning, I’d wake up naturally with the sun, long before the alarm on my Casio wristwatch.
And then I’d meander down to eat the homemade breakfast that Aide, my host, would cook for me using fresh fruit and vegetables grown on the family’s farm. It was a pretty great way to wake up.
I also went on a free walking tour which was, honestly, one of the best walking tours I’ve ever done. We learned a lot about San Cristóbal’s history and politics and Indigenous issues. Besides all the usual sights, we visited Libre Café where we sat and drank free coffee, we went to a cool little vintage store, Perritas Bazar, to try on locally made clothes and learn about the significance of different types of ethnic wear, and we ended at a wine bar, La Viña de Bacco, drinking wine and eating tapas into the night.
The walking tour made me realise a few things. Our guide Erika, was a local artist (artist name: Little Eyes Alien), and she told us so much about people currently involved in trying to create change there, and about all the social and political issues that affected San Cris and the rest of the state of Chiapas. I realised that San Cristóbal may have a lot of tourists, but it’s also got such a strong sense of community. It’s also a bit of a hotbed of resistance, which was so unexpected and interesting.
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That feeling of unfamiliarity eased when I ran into Evan, who I knew from Oaxaca. I hadn’t even known him well there, but just seeing a familiar face made San Cris feel so much friendlier. And when I signed up for classes at the local bouldering gym, I felt like I’d finally found a way to get my own sense of community. I love that feeling of trying a climb with other people encouraging you, and figuring out the right way to do it, together. It’s intoxicating when you finally manage it.
My favourite things about San Cristóbal
San Cris was so small, it was so easy to walk around everywhere. It took me three minutes from my AirBnB to Centralita, the coworking space I worked from. It took me about 5 minutes to get to most of the restaurants I liked to eat at. The longest it would take me to get to most places was about 8-10 minutes.
But while it was small, it was still full of so many interesting and beautiful spaces, and there were so many things to do there – like go to Spoken word afternoons at Sweetbeat, watch indie documentaries at Kinoki, play boardgames at Cucaramacara comics cafe, or take a cooking class at Steps.
One of the places that surprised me the most was a techno club – although this was actually a little way out from the centre. I think it was called ‘The Midnight Club’ – or that’s how everyone referred to it anyway, because it opened at midnight, and the one time I went there, they played techno until 6am (which felt very Berlin-esque) and then psytrance (which reminded me of Aussie doofs). I left around 7am but I heard it stays open all the way till midday.
San Cris also had some phenomenal graffiti, sometimes stretching across multiple houses all in a row.
Centralita, my coworking space, was likewise gorgeous, with art all over the walls and colourful, comfortable furniture. But the best thing was the people who worked there, who were so warm and welcoming. I loved going in there.
San Cris in general was beautiful and charming. And despite looking like a postcard, it was really cheap. I’d go to the markets and buy a bucket of mangoes, and it would cost me 20p – about US$1. It made for a really good quality of life.
The Artist’s Way
One of the things that really influenced my time in San Cris was a book called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s kind of like a self-help book, but instead of trying to make you a better/more effective/happier/productive person, it’s all about “artistic creative recovery” to “gain self-confidence in harnessing your creative talents and skills”.
My friend Amy had recommended it to me, and I’d just finished it before leaving Oaxaca. These were the things that I loved the most, and that had the biggest effect on me:
Morning pages: “Three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning.” Doing this reminded me of going to therapy. I’d write about all my fears and thoughts and anything weighing on my mind, and then work my way through all of them. It really helped me start every day clear headed, excited about my day, and organised. And while I was writing in a diary, it also felt a bit like unburdening to a friend.
Artist dates: “A block of time, perhaps two hours weekly, especially set aside and committed to nurturing your creative consciousness, your inner artist.” Sometimes I’d run up to the Iglesia de San Cristóbalito, then just lie there on my back, watching the clouds, and/or playing with dogs. Other times I visited Orquídeas Moxviquil, a botanical garden on the outskirts of town, or sat watching the hummingbirds and the bees at Casa Corazon del Jade, a secret little garden on the next street from my AirBnB. It was wonderful and relaxing and very nourishing.
Doing special things for yourself: Julia also suggested doing things to make your days more special. So, instead of writing in my room, I’d brew a large cup of tea, then sit outside next to the fountain early in the morning, with the sun at my back, watching the town slowly come awake, and would write from there. During the day when I was working I’d find a pretty mug to make tea in. I decorated my AirBnB with the drawings and prints I had. I tried to make every experience a little more special and beautiful.
Process, not product: I think all my life, learning has been related to an outcome. I have to do well on a test, I have to build a completely responsive website, I have to make it to the next level of cross country, I have to become fluent enough in Spanish to be able to hold a phone conversation with a native speaker…..
But Julia talks about the process being more important. Explore, be curious, and don’t worry about having something to show at the end. Do it for the joy of it, be willing to do a bad job, and be willing to keep working on something over and over again, or for long periods of time.
This was really powerful. Sometimes with drawing, I feel like I’m not progressing fast enough. Often I feel like I’m regressing! And that could make me feel really bad. But when I was in San Cris, I kept Julia’s advice in mind, and just drew for fun. A lot of it wasn’t very good. Sometimes it was nice, and a few times I was really proud of what I’d created. But I tried to remember to draw just for the fun of it.
This mindset made me really enjoy my Spanish too, and my blogging. It takes me so many tries before I finally write a blog post that I’m happy with, and earlier that would stress me out so much because I hated falling behind. But now I focus on the process, and enjoying it, instead of worrying about getting it out on time. I finally started writing my novel too, and look, it’s so hard because I read a lot and keep thinking that I just can’t create anything as good as the books I’ve read. But when I remember to enjoy the process (I don’t always), I get lost in daydreams and thinking up all these fantasy worlds and it’s wonderful.
This is a luxury, I know. How often do people have enough time to just learn and be creative? How often can they afford to do that without having an end goal, or an output/outcome with a due date? Regardless, I kind of think this is the secret to happiness. I realised that I was waking up every day so excited about my day, and would go to bed feeling so fulfilled. And that was really special.
Things I learned from people
The friends I had at Centralita were really interesting people. Evan’s an extreme minimalist, with a podcast, Free by Design. He literally travels with a tiny tote bag, and has only 1.5 sets of clothes. Amin is a bitcoin and blockchain educator who’s working on creating a decentralized autonomous university. Matt helps Amin, but also has a bunch of other side businesses. And Rebecca is a published author who’s incredibly candid about her love life (her blog about her love life got turned into a book).
I’d always thought Bitcoin and Blockchain were for finance bros, some fad that I didn’t really want to get into. Instead, I learned all about how they were being used for democracy and decentralisation. Check out Amin’s video about it:
Everyday, Evan and Amin would say hi to everyone, and would say goodbye to them when they left too. This would always make my day – it’s so nice to have someone come and greet you and feel like they’re happy to see you.
I am not the kind of person who does this, usually. I’m famous for leaving parties without saying goodbye to anyone, and while I might smile and nod at people I know when I walk into a room, that’s kind of all I do. And it’s not because I’m not happy to see them – I usually am, but I’m just a bit shy and awkward.
I guess it took me until now to realise how rude I’ve been being, but also that being shy and awkward isn’t a very good excuse. I want the world to be a kinder, warmer, and more welcoming place, and little things like this help spread that kind of sentiment. So I started to force myself to say goodbye to everyone individually, whenever I was leaving. And then I started to say hello to everyone when I got in, too. It’s still something I find hard, but I’m glad I’m doing it.
Indigenous Issues
I both loved learning about indigenous issues in San Cristóbal, and found them incredibly depressing. There’s too much to cover here, but here’s some links for anyone who’s interested in learning more:
I watched documentaries about the Zapatistas, visited local indigenous villages, and learned about Indigenous issues at Steps. It was super depressing, and sent me into a bit of a funk because here were these people who have been consistently maligned for literally hundreds of years, and even now, they were in extreme poverty and kept getting kicked off their land, with very little access to education or medication. I felt helpless but also responsible and just…. ashamed of how unjust the world can be sometimes. I felt like I should be doing something to help.
What I did, eventually, was donate to organisations involved in Indigenous outreach, gave a bit of money to Indigenous beggars, and tried to make sure that I learned more about these issues. I think anytime you’re in another country, it’s important to learn about the struggles they’re facing, and even if you can’t solve those problems, the least you can do is avoid exacerbating them. It didn’t make me feel good, but it made me feel a little less guilty and sad.
Other things I struggled with
I got e coli and was in bed with really awful food poisoning for a few days. After a few days I still had food poisoning (it lasted for a little over 2 weeks), but it was not as bad, and I forced myself to go about my day as usual.
Man, getting sick in a foreign country is rough. You feel so lonely and it’s fairly depressing. And it’s probably a really shallow thing to care about, but my skin was breaking out terribly, and my hair was so dry and brittle, and I just felt like my body was betraying me in so many ways. The day I got over my food poisoning, I got a terrible cold. How unfair is that?
The other thing I really struggled with was my hair. I’d gone to get my undercut re-shaved, but the guy who cut my hair ended up cutting all my hair short, except for one long bit on the side of my face. I guess he misinterpreted the photo I’d bought. He only spoke Spanish and my hair-related Spanish still isn’t very good, so there was definitely a gap in our communication.
It looked okay at first, but then became really poofy so it looked like one side of my head was flat, and the other side looked like a rhombus. I foolishly went to the same salon to get it cut again, and this time he just cut both sides short, but basically left me with a bit of a mullet at the back and it was all so uneven. I literally cried.
I didn’t think my hair mattered to me that much. I didn’t think I cared that much about how I looked. But I’ve realised that, in some ways, I do. Even when I had a bad hair day, my long curly hair meant that I looked like me. Now, without my hair, I felt like a different person. I felt unsure of myself and, yea, a little ugly, although I’m so embarrassed to admit that. I think it’s going to take a while for me to get used to. But like my friend Jarred told me, it’s a good opportunity for some personal growth.
Final impressions
Man, San Cristóbal was a lot. There’s so much I couldn’t fit into this blog, because it’s already the length of multiple essays. My friend Arturo came to visit me, and bought me brie and camembert, and we had such a lovely time biking through the countryside and watching a circus show.
My old housemate, Sarah, ended up in San Cristobál, and I played Scattergories for the first time in my life with her and her boyfriend Peter. I had a terrific birthday lunch, which my work paid for, but had a very sub-par day overall because that was the day I got my second haircut.
Despite everything, I loved San Cris. With the exception of the worst days of my food poisoning, and a few days in which I was in a bit of a funk after seeing a Zapatista documentary or talking to locals about Indigenous issues, I would wake up excited every day. I felt like I was constantly learning things and getting to be creative and widening my perspective and generally just learning lots about the world.
If there’s one big thing that San Cristóbal taught me, it was not to judge too quickly. I hope that’s a lesson that I manage to keep in mind.
The Way of the Potato 